It Has Been Awhile

I really just haven't been bothered to post anything because honestly,

theres nothing noteworthy happening. Is there ever?

I feel like I need a goal, or at least some sort of direction,

otherwise I'll continue in this never ending pattern of routine.

Distractions, I need distractions. To keep me from falling back into

those horrible bad moods. But I do have hope, maybe.

So this week of school will be a full one, then I have a week off :D

Quite happy about that. Maybe. I really feel like having fun,

I really need a good distraction.

So that's it then, I need direction and distraction.

And to survive IB.

And perhaps winter in Barcelona :)

Sigh.

"Listen close enough and all else fades, fades away."[Constellations - Jack Johnson]

Oh I Love You So Very Much

"Oh I miss you so very much so much in fact i gotta call you up
It's not that I have news to bring
I just wanna make your telephone ring
So it shows and you know
In a week when I fly back home
We're gonna jump in bed and be all alone
you'll make biscuits and I'll make tea
We'll curl up close and then fall asleep
To the sound of no one else no else around"

[Sleepy Tigers - Her Space Holiday]

Update.

So, I don't have to wear uniform.

YAY. She let me off. Thanks goodness.

UN night today. So gay. Got home at like, 10:45.

I want to chose not to give a shit about anything anymore.

Keep my grades up and just wait for it all to be over.

Uninspired and Undefined. That's me.

Oppression in High School

It's the norm is it not?

So, basically I got in trouble because my shorts were too short and now have to wear school uniform for two days. FML. I was so pissed off, but now I'm just kinda laughing at it.

I can pull it off. Hahahah, I haven't worn uniform since first grade. No joke.

To hell with it. I can't wait for it to be over.

I'm gunna hike my skirt up for shit.

:D

Weekends Seem to Have Lost their Appeal

I never thought those words would ever cross my mind :S

I feel like I just waste away during the weekends, sleep too much, eat too much.

Never get anything done.

During the week, at least school is a distraction. Even then I don't know what it is that I feel the need to be distracted from. This is confusing.

I feel nothing right now, I have no long term goals, aims, nothing to look forward to.

Just more IB work and more meaningless conversations.

I love the city, just not this one.

[Sunday Best - Augustana]

I Feel Safest by the Water

I miss the beaches, the river will have to do.

There's something so soothing about being by the water,

with some good live music.

Trying to sort out everything that's running through my mind.

How am I supposed to know who I want to be

if I don't even know who I am?

Feeling, undefined and alone.

you make breaking hearts look so easy, seems like you've done this before.

[Breaking - Anberlin]

Cry Baby

Every once in awhile we need
a taste of sadness,
a tinge of loss,
to remind us that
we are human
and that we are lucky to have
something, somewhere, or someone
worth missing.

I find it hard to smile these days.

note: the lyrics to this song was originally a poem by
Johanna so I had to change a few things. I hope
you don't mind :]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7I_5cg7MGw