losing hope.

-6 DAYS-

I am so done with this place.

I don't want to even think about having to come back.

Shit.

short term goals.

1) survive exams.

2) survive group4.

3) make more music.

4) take more photos.

5) hope to be happy.

About Time.

Waiting, that seems to be the only thing I do.

Wait for exams to be over.

Wait for Group 4 to be done with.

Wait for Winter Break to come.

Wait to get out of this humid weather.

Wait to finally be with real friends again.

Wait to get real hugs.

Wait to finish with this school full of superficial liars.

I'm so sick of waiting. But at least I KNOW there is something worth the wait.

I'm sick of people who lie, people who fake their way through life, people who you cant depend on.

Exams soon, I just hope time manages to fly for now. Then crawl when I get to be back in Barcelona. I can't imagine a better way to spend the New Year. Its about time life became worth something again.

"Take me away, to January. I'm done with this year, I'm tired of everyone here."

[Take Me Away - Chase Coy]

*definitely must listen to this song. So calming and true.

Reasons to Sleep With and IB Student

Got this off a facebook group. Pretty damn funny :D

1) We can fit two years worth into a month.

2) Re-take? What’s a re-take? We get it right first time.

3) We have incredible endurance.

4) No matter how much work we have, we can still make free time for ourselves.

5) We can serenade our partners in at least 2 different languages.

6) Our Physicists are experts at handling the forces between two objects.

7) Our Biologists know their way around the human body better than any other 6th form student.

8) The chemistry in a relationship is mere child’s play to our higher Chemists.

9) Our Mathematicians’ knowledge of projectile motion means that things will never get messy – unless you want them to.

10) We are experts at getting the maximum amount of work done with the least amount of effort.

11) Because we do it with creativity, action and (give you a) service.

12) We have experience in extended activity.

13) We can take it to a Higher Level.

14) "A-level students are like tired old bangers; they'll do the job, but it'll be a bit boring. IB students go like Ferraris."

15) Our English syllabus puts a lot of emphasis on oral assessment.

16) No need for modules here; we do it all in one go.

17) It's widely recognised that IB is longer and harder.

18) Haven't you seen the IB people wandering around saying how fucked they are?

19) We're used to going all night long.

20) Our Computer Scientists can push all the right buttons.

21) Our Economists know just how to supply what you demand.

22) A session with one of our Pyschologists will relieve stress and help you sleep at night; and I'm not talking about Insomnia Therapy.

23) We IBers fall asleep in class so that we can get more done at night.

24) Experiments conducted around the world have at last confirmed what we have long suspected: sleeping with an IB student can in some cases double the IQ of a student doing a less rigorous qualification.

25) Our Group 4 students are fearless when it comes to experimentation.

26) We treat you like we treat our homework - we slam you on the table and do you all night long.

27) Thanks to TOK, we have several different methods for getting to 'know' you.

28) We go beyond doing just what we have to do, to make things more interesting.

29) Our Geographers know what to push and how to pull.

30) If you want, we work well in larger groups.

31) We can think creatively and come from all sorts of new angles.

32) Essays aren't the only thing we can pull out of our pockets at a moment's notice.

33) Our musicians will bring things to a slow swell followed by a climax.

34) Our Design & Technology students know just what materials and methods are right for you.

35) We can assess you both externally and internally.

36) Hey, we do need some reason to sleep.

37) We're willing to try new methods to get better results.

38) We've never been known to finish early.

39) It's not just our essays that are extended.

40) Like variety? We're international!

41) Our Historians will make it a night to remember.

42) Our Business students know all the right places to do their business.

43) Give the Kama Sutra to an IB student, and they won't just read and remember, but analyse and improve.

44) Our Visual Arts students aren't just aesthetically pleasing.

45) IB students aren't just better prepared for college academically.

46) Our Design & Technology students can handle a short nail or a long screw.

Framing Hanley is a must see band. Their cover of Lollipop is the shit. The lead singer is hot as hell. :)

A Matter of Boots

Warning: This blog suffers from extreme mood swings.

*note to Felipe - I have not abandoned my blog.

PS: Sorry this turned out to be such a long post.

I miss the cold. I miss freezing on the beach or mountain at night.

I miss the random hailing, and sludgy ice. I miss wearing boots.

Hopefully though, I will be able to during my visit in New Years.

If I can find them that is...

On a somewhat lighter note,

Report cards were mailed, and I did not awesome but alright.

Its just quarter grades though, I'll pull them up before the semester end.

That means exams. Which will probably occur end November and early December.

Which means I will be super cramming on my birthday for exams the next morning.

Oh joy.

On an even lighter note,

This is something that a friend wrote, but I haven't told him I'm putting it here.

Not that it really matters, he will never know. I found it really quite funny, it definitely brought a smile to my face.

There she stands, magnificent and slender. Her outline so polished and curved to fine detail. The chrome shine reflecting the sun's bright light, defining the very essence of perfection. She stands with such strength and posture no human being could ever maintain for such a period of time. The energy flowing through immediately alters the atmosphere in the room. She brings such passion and optimism out of her surroundings. The single bundle of darkness upon her head emits such contrast to the heavenly light emitting from her face. A price tag dangles from her leg, $150. The first thought through my mind; God, I need this lamp.

Written by Sebastian Kratz.

As for everything else in my life and on my mind, we'll just have to wait and see what happens.

"Welcome to the point, the point of no return. Let the past ignite and memories burn. I say, welcome to wherever you are."

[Welcome to Wherever You Are - Ten Second Epic]

It Has Been Awhile

I really just haven't been bothered to post anything because honestly,

theres nothing noteworthy happening. Is there ever?

I feel like I need a goal, or at least some sort of direction,

otherwise I'll continue in this never ending pattern of routine.

Distractions, I need distractions. To keep me from falling back into

those horrible bad moods. But I do have hope, maybe.

So this week of school will be a full one, then I have a week off :D

Quite happy about that. Maybe. I really feel like having fun,

I really need a good distraction.

So that's it then, I need direction and distraction.

And to survive IB.

And perhaps winter in Barcelona :)

Sigh.

"Listen close enough and all else fades, fades away."[Constellations - Jack Johnson]

Oh I Love You So Very Much

"Oh I miss you so very much so much in fact i gotta call you up
It's not that I have news to bring
I just wanna make your telephone ring
So it shows and you know
In a week when I fly back home
We're gonna jump in bed and be all alone
you'll make biscuits and I'll make tea
We'll curl up close and then fall asleep
To the sound of no one else no else around"

[Sleepy Tigers - Her Space Holiday]

Update.

So, I don't have to wear uniform.

YAY. She let me off. Thanks goodness.

UN night today. So gay. Got home at like, 10:45.

I want to chose not to give a shit about anything anymore.

Keep my grades up and just wait for it all to be over.

Uninspired and Undefined. That's me.

Oppression in High School

It's the norm is it not?

So, basically I got in trouble because my shorts were too short and now have to wear school uniform for two days. FML. I was so pissed off, but now I'm just kinda laughing at it.

I can pull it off. Hahahah, I haven't worn uniform since first grade. No joke.

To hell with it. I can't wait for it to be over.

I'm gunna hike my skirt up for shit.

:D

Weekends Seem to Have Lost their Appeal

I never thought those words would ever cross my mind :S

I feel like I just waste away during the weekends, sleep too much, eat too much.

Never get anything done.

During the week, at least school is a distraction. Even then I don't know what it is that I feel the need to be distracted from. This is confusing.

I feel nothing right now, I have no long term goals, aims, nothing to look forward to.

Just more IB work and more meaningless conversations.

I love the city, just not this one.

[Sunday Best - Augustana]

I Feel Safest by the Water

I miss the beaches, the river will have to do.

There's something so soothing about being by the water,

with some good live music.

Trying to sort out everything that's running through my mind.

How am I supposed to know who I want to be

if I don't even know who I am?

Feeling, undefined and alone.

you make breaking hearts look so easy, seems like you've done this before.

[Breaking - Anberlin]

Cry Baby

Every once in awhile we need
a taste of sadness,
a tinge of loss,
to remind us that
we are human
and that we are lucky to have
something, somewhere, or someone
worth missing.

I find it hard to smile these days.

note: the lyrics to this song was originally a poem by
Johanna so I had to change a few things. I hope
you don't mind :]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7I_5cg7MGw

My Summer Anthem

Feeling nostalgic, aren't we all?
Something is not right with my blogspot when I want to make new posts.
hmm..?

It's not perfect but I hope it's still meaningful.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2rC-4tGGg-c

Hug Deprevation

I know it might sound pathetic, but I really miss the tons of hugs I used to give and recieve back in Barcelona.

I've told my parents this, to which they then proceed to try and hug me but it's not the same. Of course it isn't.

School is getting better, IB is getting more hectic. And its only the second week. Save me. No, not really.

I can't wait for next summer, but then again I'm in touch with my nerdy side and am actually enjoying most classes.

I don't get economics for crap though. I'll have to read the textbook.

Should be getting a new laptop soon, which I am super excited and happy about. It's gunna be a Macbook Pro.

I'm converting. And I guess I'll just see how my life goes from there.

ps. thanks felipe for helping me with my spanish homework. i thought you deserved a shoutout :]

[Unwinding Cable Car - Anberlin]

music is the only thing that's always there for me, until my ipod dies.

"It just takes some time,
little girl you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything (everything) will be just fine,
everything (everything) will be alright (alright)."

-jimmy eat world//it just takes some time-

I'll Try to Smile

Been doing some much needed songwriting/venting.
Here's the product:

"Sometimes I wish I could wake up back in Barcelona,
where the sun is shining and my friends are smiling
and waiting for me.

I miss the view of the city from the mountain top,
miss watching my friends blaze up.
I miss walking through the city streets and planning
parties for next week.

I miss how we could be anywhere at anytime it didn't
even matter. Just as long as we were together.
And I'll bet you a million dollars that won't change,
next time we see each other it will be exactly the
same."


That's all I got so far. I really shouldn't have stopped playing guitar
for three weeks, now my fingers are in pain. Hahaha :]

I've decided to stop hating the present and appreciate the past instead.




[Smile - McFly]

About Time to Start a Countdown Eh?

So things change.
Plans are never certain are they.

Turns out I'm leaving this amazing city on the 11th of July. Next Saturday I believe. That means that I've missed some proper goodbyes and really need to get on with writing all those soppy goodbye letters. Wow. I really need to write a to-do list. Multiple ones maybe. Hahahaha, wow that's pretty pathetic. I think we really need to learn to appreciate the time that we have doing this as simple as walking in the city center, or siting in a park so that we don't regret anything when those times have faded.

I love my friends to death and will miss them so much when I can't see them everyday. For now, I'll spend and enjoy every moment I have with them. BCN '09.

-12days-

[All We Are - OneRepublic]

Lines and Dots

Sometimes, what we want to say can be said in a matter of words. Sometimes it takes full sentences. Yet we depend on these words to get a meaning across. I feel that even though words are effective and perhaps clearer, one look or expression can tell a person exactly what I'm thinking, if only they choose to pick up on that.

Pity. When someones says they feel sorry for you, should that make you feel better? Or does it in fact make you feel worse because its established that you're in a position that sucks (thats what she said). How does one respond when a friend says "Oh man, I feel really sorry for you." Do you reply with a thank you? Or a "Yeah I know right."

When does the idea of a goodbye really kick in? Is it after a few hours, a few days? It sucks when you realize that you really need that singular persons wise words and supportive advice, and they aren't present to give them. Maybe even when you just miss their ridiculous laugh. I love you Johanna and I miss you. Real friends are hard to come by.

So after these few words, what has happened, what has changed. Nothing, but perhaps I've received peace of mind or simple acceptance. Who knows, I guess it doesn't even really matter.

I Just Want To Be Dancing...

I think that I have managed to watch Dirty Dancing Havana Nights more than ten times in the past two weeks. Hahaha, I just love it so muuchooo <3. So there are two major events coming up:

Gaby's "Celebrate the Summer" Party on Thursday and
Camping in Costa Brava from Saturday to Monday.

I can't wait for either :]

So exams are done and school is almost out for summer! However, that just kinda gets me worried about next year and IB and all. Been really chill the past couple of days, went to a fun pool party/sleepover on Saturday. Makes me really not want to leave.



[Push - Enrique Iglesias]

Seasons in the Sun

Yay, made my LookBook.nu account today. Heres my first look.

It's so hot its almost unbearable! Ugh. But I love the summer, just maybe need a personal portable AC or an small electric fan. Hahaha, so exams are next week which is stressful but I can't wait to get them over with. Summer parties are always the best. Still, the sooner school ends the sooner I have to leave this beautiful city to go and suffer in humid Singapore.

Math test tomorrow, should be studying. Think I'll try and do that.

[Romeo and Juliet - The Killers]

And Then While I'm Away, I'll Write Home Everyday.

Started packing up my room this morning, which makes me sad. Put all my books and notebooks and magazines into a box. Then went out to meet Felipe and spent another day just strolling around Barcelona. Closer to the beach this time though. Sat near the water where we got attacked by a mini poodle, twice. Then in a parkish area in the greenest spot of grass. Took a bunch of photos, and ate some plants. Well at least he did.

Puns. Question: is it more difficult to make puns or to understand them? And what about those times when you think someone made a pun, but they hadn't intended to, hahaha, I think that takes skill.

The whole, the sun is out for longer during the summer thing, is so awesome but so horrible at the same time. It totally screws up my mind clock and i never get any work done because I always think it's still early. It's good though, because when you're out you can stay our for longer without getting afraid of creepy dark alleyways and psycho-killers.

Watched Across the Universe a couple days back and now can't stop singing Beatles tunes.

NEED TO STUDY! ugh.

[All My Loving - The Beatles]

With the Mediterranian to My Left, and the City to My Right

There's nothing like a day in the city with your friends. Just spending hours chilling by the dock on a nice patch of green grass. The constant shifting from being in the sun and being in the shade. Hahaha, I love Barcelona. This city will always be in my heart. It's so refreshing to realize that you don't really need to be doing anything to be having a good time. It's times like these that we will value, the effortless friendships and the pointless laughing fits. I can't wait for SUMMER 2009, it will be legend-wait for it-dary.

Exams soon = slightly stressing.


[Feelings Show - Colbie Calliat]

Time to Break Out Those Short Shorts

As the summer swiftly approaches the days are getting longer, and hotter. I've found the heat quite delightful and uplifting, although annoying at times. It's amazing how much the sun affects our moods. I swear, just seeing the sunrise every morning can make life feel worthwhile. Here in Sunny Barcelona the weather is simply perfect, blue skies and cool breezes. It really makes me want to just be outside, to be in the city, or by the beach. I believe it's time to let those winter pale bodies soak in the sun and time to break out those short shorts. :]

[Fairytale - Alexander Rybak(Eurovision!)]